Does Following the Rules Result in Successful Relationships?

 

I remember learning relationship rules growing up from listening to love songs and watching multiple movies, in which a specific process was followed to successfully win over the man or woman one desired.

As I became obsessed with the movie John Tucker Must Die, in which I watched an innocent teen named Kate entice John with the help from John’s three exes, I realized to develop and maintain a successful relationship, I needed to adhere to the rules necessary to win over my man. These girls set out to trick John (as Rosalind tricked Orlando), in order to win him over. Kate got confused along the way because she believed she was supposed to be playing hard to get. The other girls scolded her because they claimed she was past the “playing hard to get phase” the moment she had John smitten.

I have noticed these relationship rules are not only existent in modern media but have been present since the works of Shakespeare. Each individual must follow the patterns in order to achieve love or display and prove the love they already feel.

In As You Like It, Rosalind challenges Orlando’s feelings of love by questioning characteristics as ones associated with love. Rosalind claims Orlando could not officially be in love because he does not portray the symptoms of an individual in love:

“A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and /sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which/ you have not; a beard neglected, which you have not—but I pardon you for that—but I pardon you for that, for simply you having in beard is a/ younger brother’s revenge. Then you hose should be ungar-/tered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your/ shoe untied, and everything about your demonstrating a careless/ desolation. But you are no such man. You are rather point-/ device in your accountrements, as loving yourself than seeming/ the lover of any other” (3.2.337-346).

Orlando does not meet these standards, and so he has a hard time convincing Rosalind it was him who posted his love poems on the tree. Rosalind believes she can cure Orlando from this love sickness and explains that she has expertise in curing other men by a specific process, “would now like him, now loathe him; then entertain him,/ then forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him,” (3.2.372).

Rosalind shows there is a procedure to undo a person in love just as individuals follow guidelines to win over their love interest. By adhering to the relationship rules, such as playing hard to get and then maintaining and continuing to follow the rules to keep them fascinated, individuals are likely to succeed in having a long-lasting relationship.

 

 

 

Who is the Merchant of Venice?

Who is the Merchant of Venice?

            “I give them with this ring, which when you part from, lose, or give away, let it presage the ruin of your love, and been my vantage to exclaim on you” (The Merchant of Venice 3.2. 171-174).  Along with the promise of marriage to Bassanio, Portia also promises a ring to him that symbolizes his dedication to her.  However, as we learn later on, Portia uses the ring to her own advantage to remain the master of her own destiny.  Such a test of Bassanio’s loyalty to Portia proved him unworthy of her love, but was that really the purpose of the ring? 

            Each character at the end of The Merchant of Venice gets what they are owed by the court of law.  Shylock loses almost everything he owns, Antonio escapes with his life, and Bassanio saves the life of his friend, pays his debt, however, loses fair Portia by carelessly giving away the ring entrusted to him.  Therefore it would seem that the only person in the play who is truly happy at the end of the play is Portia herself, making her the one and only merchant of Venice and proving herself to be a very versatile character. 

            Portia, therefore, can be related to a female character in the new and modern movie, Divergent.  The main character Tris, is beautiful, charming, and smart but, when it comes to defending herself and others, she morphs into a fierce warrior.  Portia is much the same in character when it comes to defending her honor.  She decides to take matters into her own hands by manipulating and outwitting those in charge of her destiny as dictated by her father’s final wishes.  Tris is similar because she goes against those who dictate what is acceptable and unacceptable in her society, fights for what is right for both herself and those she loves, and changes the rules for everyone and levels the playing field for people like her with a diverse set of abilities.  Tris also uses a variety of trickery and cunning to outwit authority such as giving herself up to the top authority in exchange for the lives of those she loves, but does it all on her own terms and demands more in return, therefore, although she’s submitting, she’s still going by her own rules. 

Portia also has a unique set of abilities as well.  She’s not just a beautiful and fair face, but a very intelligent individual with the courage to fight for what she wants as well as what she believes is just.  Portia hates that she must marry Bassanio without a say in the matter, therefore, she concocts a plan to save herself from a long and unhappy life with him.  She takes on the role of a man, dresses up like a judge, and passes judgment on Antonio and Shylock to work the circumstances in her favor.   After tricking Bassanio and receiving the ring as a gift, Portia’s plan is unveiled and she is free once again to decide her own fate.  Much like Tris, Portia refuses to take the injustice bestowed upon her by society and changes the rules.