I Am Woman. Can I Court You?

In Venus and Adonis, the story depicts through the horses what is thought as the natural course of love in Elizabethan times. Using the horses’ animal instinct as a device, by nature the male is supposed to approach and court while the female acts modest until giving into the advances of the male. If the reversal is done and the female becomes the pursuer, which is shown through Venus’s actions, then the course of love becomes forced and unnatural. During the past centuries men and women alike have believed and abide by this method of courtship naming any woman who goes "against nature” as a “whore”, “hussy”, or “vixen” (to name a few). Even the 1949 movie Neptune’s Daughter explores courtship when initiated by a man (00:03) versus initiated by a woman (2:30).

When courtship is initiated by a man, he seems teasing and playful which eventually leads to the woman, of course playing coy at first, warming up to his advances and rewarding him for his persistence. This nice display of blossoming love is then contrasted with the aggressive and animalistic display of courtship initiated by the women while the man tries multiple times, but fails, to escape the woman’s forward advances. Adonis feels you, man.

So fast forward to society today. Has this mindset changed or do we still abide by the rules of Elizabethan courtship? Can women reveal their inner Venus? Is it okay for a woman to approach a man first? A lot of people would say yes, but if we look into media and articles there’s a lack of consensus. Some men say go for it and that a forward woman is a fresh breath of air. Other men say don’t approach because men only appreciate a challenge. Some women say stop sitting on the sidelines and get what you want. Other women say you got to make him work for it. So where does that leaves us? Is it okay for women to take the more masculine role? Will female initiation of courtship become socially acceptable? Is there any progress?

Some women have taken it on their shoulders to make female initiation of courtship socially acceptable. In “Lady Gaga and the Muppet Spectacular” that aired November of 2013, Lady Gaga sings a rendition of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with Joseph Gordon-Levitt where she’s singing the part of the pursuer (00:40). Does it work?

Even though they butchered the bejeezus out of the lyrics to one my favorite winter songs, I think they sold it. Lady Gaga acted forward, persistent, but still remained playful and alluring. But television shows and live recordings of rehearsed choreography aren’t real life. So is it possible for a woman to tastefully take the more masculine part of courtship and pursue a man? Most definitely. Are we progressing away from the Elizabethan courtship expectations that Venus and Adonis presents? Slowly but surely. But is it socially acceptable for a woman to pursue a man without being called “slut” or “needy”? I’m not so sure.