No person is consumed in worry when addressing a
letter to a male, but when they are writing a female, issues arise concerning
if she is claiming a Ms. or Mrs. status. In our society, we find it worthy of
noting the relationship status of females. This indicates that a large part of
a woman’s identity relies on her male counterpart. As far as men’s relationship
status goes, we really don’t pay attention to that unnecessary information. After
all, wives and children exist only to make men appear “responsible” and “stable”
in the work environment.
Shakespeare was well aware of this in his play All’s Well That Ends Well with the
creation of the character Helen. Helen’s life successes depend on changing her
status from single to married. She originally decides it would be of benefit to
bring the special remedy from her father to heal the King. Upon notifying the
Countess of this choice, the Countess replies, “This was your motive/For Paris,
was it? Speak.” (1.3.217-18). Helen responds, “My lord your son made me to
think of this, / Else Paris and the medicine and the King/ Had from the conversation
of my thoughts/ Haply been absent then” (1.3.219-21). This dialogue shows Helen
cannot even take credit for her own thoughts but places them upon Bertram as
her source and motivation.
As the play continues, Helen disguises herself as a
pilgrim to win Bertram back. Without him, she feels like a worthless being. He
of course lies to her that he is leaving for “appointments,” and she responds willingly
to his parting as his “most obedient servant”—not as his wife who mutually
agrees but a wife who is a servant to him. (2.5.67).
Sadly, Helen
and Bertram’s relationship isn’t a rarity. Today many women still feel the
pressure to have a man as a means to their successes. Helen’s inclination to
lie and to manipulate others was the only way she could keep her relationship
with Bertram. So while men like Bertram can quite easily flee town, women like
Helen are stuck destroying other women and things all to achieve love from their
“needed” man.
A prime example
of this is It Takes Two with Mary
Kate and Ashley Olsen plotting together to rid their dad’s fiancé and hook him
up with Diane (Kirstie Alley): http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5i6ve_it-takes-two-1995_shortfilms
The Olsen twins go through extensive measures to help
Diane chase after the man she “needs.” So today when I hear girls on campus
joke about going to college to get their “Mrs. Degree,” I realize women are
still placing their identity in their man or lack thereof. I mean, after all
what I am here for myself? I couldn’t possibly have my own dreams and goals unless
I have a man to support my needs and desires. I have yet to hear any guy say he
is going to get his “Mr. Degree.” It’s absurd because he already has it and has
since he was identified as a male at birth.
I really like the direction of this post. I think it is especially prudent to view the dependence of women on men for their identity in the context of rape culture. Many women feel that their sexuality is needlessly transgressive when it travels, that when a man walks home alone at night he is simply going from place to place while female passersby are labeled for their "straying" or "wandering" in similar situations. Also, thank you for bringing to light the scene where Helena labels herself a servant of Bertram's, which I would add carries some pretty overt sexual connotations. I think that overall, your point is emphasized by Diana's comment to Bertram. "Ay, so you serve us / Til we serve you. But when you have our roses, / You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves, / And mock us with our bareness." (4.2.18-21) Men often make a cheap show of being all for respecting women until they get what they want and wonder why the woman cannot reconcile with all the empty promises. And what often looks like a clingy woman is really a woman desperate for answers. I am glad that you bring out the fact that this type of "relationship" is not a rare occurrence. Thanks for posting!
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